I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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