Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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