dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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