is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize