You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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