I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
