I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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