JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
