Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
