some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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