Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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