Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
