i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
