OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dick very happy bro
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
