So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
