I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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