So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
