Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
porn star boner night. come get it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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