Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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