Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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