i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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