I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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