Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
