i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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