Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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