So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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