i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
