please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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