She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
