i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
