I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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