No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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