it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
