And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Randomize
