I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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