she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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