just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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