so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize