U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
