its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
