i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
