i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
