Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
