the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
