it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
