remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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