I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
