Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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