I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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