i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
