I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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