She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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