I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize