next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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