Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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