Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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