I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
