i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My ass is underappreciated
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
