please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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