FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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