Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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