Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
